to answer my own question, yes, i'm probably mentally ballistic cause who the fuck talks to himself for the past one hour?

does it mean i'm mad if i'm talking to myself openly all the time?

i just want to sleeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Dear Lord, what should I do... please show me an answer......

dear Lord,

I have been undergoing this pain and darkness for the longest time

and it's tearing me up from the very fabric of my soul, inside out

i want to forget this pain and sorrow that i'm feeling

and all the grief, sadness, anger, resentment towards everything and everyone else

despair and anxiety has been eating me up every waking moment

Please Lord, I pray to you

pls shower me with your blessings and strength for me to move on

pls show me the light towards the path out of this darkness

i am tired and sick of everything and everyone else around me

i just want to be happy and optimistic again

however, if this means inflicting pain and hurt on other people

then Lord, I would rather much shoulder this upon myself and carry on

Thank You Lord,

for listening to me