Still not ok and feeling miserable all the time

God help me

I just want to be happy again

horrible week....

it was going smooth, then it just have to go downhill...

stop being a nervous wreak...

idiot... stop being an idiot...

stop...

urgh...............................................................................................................................................................................................

get control of urself and stop freaking out....

stop mumbling and stuttering... u sound like a fool...

fuck......

ed, u are such a loser....

Actually, I should just go screw myself since I'm so screwed up

Screw this world

I hate having to put on a mask in front of others when I'm obviously not feeling okay

Fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck it

to answer my own question, yes, i'm probably mentally ballistic cause who the fuck talks to himself for the past one hour?

does it mean i'm mad if i'm talking to myself openly all the time?

i just want to sleeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Dear Lord, what should I do... please show me an answer......

dear Lord,

I have been undergoing this pain and darkness for the longest time

and it's tearing me up from the very fabric of my soul, inside out

i want to forget this pain and sorrow that i'm feeling

and all the grief, sadness, anger, resentment towards everything and everyone else

despair and anxiety has been eating me up every waking moment

Please Lord, I pray to you

pls shower me with your blessings and strength for me to move on

pls show me the light towards the path out of this darkness

i am tired and sick of everything and everyone else around me

i just want to be happy and optimistic again

however, if this means inflicting pain and hurt on other people

then Lord, I would rather much shoulder this upon myself and carry on

Thank You Lord,

for listening to me

i will start to pray more and i want to be happy again

I have been having anxiety and panic attacks recently.

Hands and feet keep trembling and shivering

The heart rate goes haywire

Anxious feelings keeps coming in waves after waves

Gone is my appetite for food

And I have not been feeling happy for the longest time

It really sucks to be me

i hate my life

period

nothing to live for anyway

why do i feel as though ppl do not understand me at times?

Or maybe, i just do not conform to other people's standards

我想我应该过不了自己那一关

去到哪，都有你的影子，

做什么，都是你的记忆

没办法，放不下就是放不下

在朋友家人面前显得坚强，但是心还是很痛

一个人的时候，眼泪不停的掉

好想好好的狠，却决不下心

只能好好的享受这酸痛的滋味把

好累，好累

以为放个假，会好一些

但是到最后还是空空的感觉

好累，好累......

stop my aching heart.....stop......

i take a look at it everynight before i could sleep

massive impact on me

bittersweet

funny thoughts have been in my head all day

还是很。。。。。。。。。你。。。。。

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38lcQsEMGrk&feature=fvst

你說呢 明知你不在 還是會問
空氣 卻不能代替你 出聲
習慣 像永不癒合 的固執傷痕
一思念就撕裂靈魂

把相片 讓你能保存 多洗一本
毛衣 也為你準備多 一層
但是 你孤單時刻 安慰的體溫
怎麼為你多留一份

我不願讓你一個人 一個人在人海浮沉
我不願你獨自走過 風雨的 時分
我不願讓你一個人 承受這世界的殘忍
我不願眼淚陪你到 永恆

你走後 愛情的遺跡 像是空城遺落
你杯子手套和 笑聲
最後 你只帶走你 脆弱和單純
和我最放不下的人

也許未來 你會找到 懂你疼你 更好的人
下段旅程 你一定要 更幸福豐盛

我不願讓你一個人 一個人在人海浮沉
我不願你獨自走過 風雨的 時分
我不願讓你一個人 承受這世界的殘忍
我不願眼淚陪你到 永恆

你說呢 明知你不在 還是會問
只因 習慣你滿足的 眼神
只是 我最後一個 奢求的可能
只求你有快樂人生
只求命運 帶你去一段 全新的旅程
往幸福的天涯飛奔

別回頭就往前飛奔
請忘了我還 一個人