a note to myself

you're fucked up... and screwed up....

how many times have shit happened...

and yet... the nest day...or next moment...

you behaved... as if nothing happened...

how many times had she..... gone through this with you...

again...and again...and again...and again...

why can't you be more assertive... and take control...

or speak up...

instead of bottling it up....

why must you choose ....to unbottle stuff out at hte wrong moment...

why can't you be more like ...Joseph...or Derek... or Yingwei...

you know something... you're always deriding Roy for the stupid stuff he does...

but hey, at least he's actually doing something... even though its pretty hopeless...

at least he tries...

have you?

You are really the most pathetic hypocrite who refuse to let anyone knows what you're thinking..

You're fucked up....

just simply fucked up..

I wonder to myself ...

does this gal really deserve you...

if you wanna hold on to her..

you better do something...

Just do something....

just....do.....it....anything...

you will... right??

will you??

don't pretend or assume anymore...

will you??

...please?