i can't bear this pain....... omg.....it hurts deeper than i thought......

i love you Alicia Lee

when will i fucking grow up??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

if being free from this will make you feel happy, then so be it.....

heartbroken........

pain.........

regrets.......

tears.........

heartbroken........

pain.........

regrets.......

tears.........

stupid shitty stuff tends to happen to me alot

i miss her very much...

actually, i feel like dying at times, if not for the ties that bind me to this world, and the courage that I lack

cross roads

uncertainty reigns but i got to be strong

i really shouldn't think too much about it and move on, but it just gets so upsetting whenever i look back

always always always always always

i want to be run over by a truck

i want a brick to fall onto my head

i want to tumble over a flight of stairs and break my neck

i want to stop breathing

i want to go away in peace

emotional roller-coaster

sometimes, i wish that i can have mind-reading powers...

had an awesome day...

thanks darling....

you're truly great and wonderful

perhaps i should be more assertive at times

a break finally........

and thing are actually tarting to look up!

i know you are the one for me.


i know i want to spend my old years with you.


i know i want to pass on before you do, so that i wouldn't suffer being alone should you go first.


if the skies were to open a hole, i would want to reach out for the stars and pluck one for you


if my heart does not know how to love one day, it will happen because you may not be there anymore


all in all, after all the above,


i just want to say,


i love you...

note to myself:

there are things that are beyond you, things that you can't change, and things that you should accept

but i can't take the fact that despite doing things, things are still not working out

been a bloody six months already, and yet results have been pathetic to say the least

what do i need to do to change this.....or is this really beyond my fucking control....

needing a break......

looking forward to it....

damm fucking tired....

i kinda miss blogging in a way

it gives me an avenue to express my thoughts, my frustrations, my feelings and my everything

someone gets upset if i do this

others get upset if i do that

do everything, yet the whole world gets upset

don't do anything, everyone will get upset

i can never do anything right to please everybody

maybe everything may be better if i just die

it sucks to be me at times